Meeting the Parents

Last week, I went to Semarang for an exciting foodie adventure. This city has plenty of mouth-watering dishes that spike my ever-so-moody appetite (soto, satay, dawet—you name it). Just by writing this, I’m reminiscing about every delicious meal I ate during those two days. Yum. Needless to say, this trip became a memorable one for me, partly because of all the amazing delicacies I relished—and oh… I also met my boyfriend’s parents for the very first time.

To say that I was nervous would be the understatement of the century. I was agitated. Fidgety. Anxious. Click this link to find more adjectives that describe what I felt—or, to put it simply: “I didn’t know what to expect because I was naturally shy and awkward in front of new people and my head was convincing me that a good first impression was only important during a parents' meeting.” Gah. I just didn’t want to fumble my chance.

My boyfriend tried to calm me on our way to his house, but this was easier said than done (IT IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE, RIGHT?!). My clumsy ass was afraid that I might do something reckless (like spilling my beverages or saying something stupid). At one point, I even questioned whether I had put on too much makeup because my blush looked pinker than usual (there was a good chance I was just blushing, but I didn’t think of that at the time).

Thankfully, all my fears and negative thoughts turned out to be groundless. His parents are such nice people who warmly welcomed me into their home. After some small talk and more, I eventually felt at ease. I could even crack a joke at some points—how advanced!

I wouldn’t dare to be so straightforward as to say that I’ve charmed the parents and tricked them into welcoming me to their household, but I’m pretty confident the meeting was quite successful. I was myself the whole time, we never ran out of new topics to discuss, and most importantly, I felt accepted.

In the spirit of wanting to help (in case someone out there needs encouragement), here are some things you should make sure of before meeting the parents:

Find out things about the parents. Before I met his parents, my boyfriend told me some facts about them that were useful for fun discussions. For example, his mom loves baking and plants. Baking was something we discussed that day. When we were in the front yard, I brought up gardening as a new topic based on what I knew from my mom’s garden.

Wear appropriate clothing. I may be a huge tank top fan, but when meeting the parents last week, I wore neat blouses and long trousers. It just felt more fitting and appropriate (and still stylish!).

Bring something nice. When my boyfriend informed his parents that he would be bringing me home, his mom told him I didn’t need to bring her anything. I respected the request, but I felt it wasn’t polite to come as a guest empty-handed, especially at the very first meeting. With that said, I bought the parents some food souvenirs. They appreciated my gesture.

Be yourself. This might sound cliché, but I consider being true to myself absolutely necessary. As much as I wanted to impress my boyfriend’s parents, I didn’t want to do that while being someone else. Acting like someone else just doesn’t sit right with me—it feels like outright lying. Even if I were planning to put up a façade, I wouldn’t want to not be myself for the rest of my life, would I?

Be polite. I believe that saying “sorry” and “thank you” is basic decency that we should show in every situation, including this one. I didn’t forget to say “thank you” when the parents treated me to a meal, and kindly said “sorry” when I interrupted a conversation to go to the restroom.

So. Are you ready?