The Double Date Debate

Before I met my current boyfriend, I had been single for almost… five years (now that I think about it—wow). I didn’t casually date during all those years, let alone exclusively. No wonder I was kind of inexperienced when I started dating again. I was so behind on all the hype and relationship trends.

However, I’ve been quite familiar with the concept of ‘double date’ since my single era. I once concluded that double dates must be fun since a lot of couples seem to be into them. I mean, couples with couples? Even Big Two has prepared us for that moment. And I love Big Two.

What I’ve been experiencing these past few months has shed some light on the true nature of double dates, though. In my opinion, it’s definitely more than it seems since it’s generally tied to a basic human need: socializing.

How?

I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend. While both my boyfriend and I love our time alone together, we still feel that hanging out with friends now and then is necessary.

This is where my boyfriend and I differ.

I divide my need to socialize into two categories:

- my alone time with friends; and

- my time with my boyfriend and friends.

In my opinion, it’s important to keep my friendships alive even when I’m in an exclusive relationship. It’s natural to have a friend or two outside the relationship. But I also think that my boyfriend and I need to spend time with other people together sometimes. I find it important to share social experiences and learn each other’s habits in a group setting. And since we’re a couple, we naturally end up spending time with other couples too. Without really planning it, we’ve found ourselves going on double dates quite often lately.

Unlike me, my boyfriend only feels the need to spend time with his friends on his own. In his opinion, our time is just for us, and his time with his friends is just for them. He admits that double dates can be fun, but says he only does them to accompany me.

Well, agree to disagree—and I respect that. Maybe that’s just one of the things that sets girls and boys apart.

So, what do you think? Which one of these perspectives resonates with you more?