When a Friendship Quietly Ends

December this year has been full of surprises. From being admitted to a hospital because of food poisoning, to soaking in the joyous Christmas vibes around my city, it now leaves me with a quieter realization, one that turns everything a little blue. I’ve just gone through another friendship… breakup.

I’m not new to this feeling, but it still hurts regardless. If you want to read a vaguer version of this experience, I once wrote about it on my other blog, Tale Enthusiast. It was the first time I ever felt genuine sadness over losing a bond with a childhood friend. And she wasn’t even a bad person. We simply lived in different cities, didn’t meet for years, and eventually grew apart.

Knowing how painful it is to lose the title of ‘best friend’, I’ve long stopped using it altogether. I do have close friends, truly. I just don’t get too emotionally attached anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still hold them close to my heart (some ranked higher than others, because I’m human and human sometimes sucks), but I keep a small, figurative tennis ball between us that I won’t let anyone cross. It’s my way of protecting myself from being rooted too deeply in something fleeting—or at least, that’s what I tell myself.

But recently, something cracked.

There’s a flaw in this ranking system, one that made someone near the top feel closer than I had expected. For someone who always makes it a priority to listen, it felt comforting to be heard in return. And so this old friend of mine—someone I felt at ease around because she not only talked but also listened—slowly became an important presence in my life.

Sadly, things expire. And this connection did too.

I know we’re the kind of friends who can go months without talking and then meet as if it were just last weekend. But lately, something hasn’t felt right. And slowly, I began to notice a pattern.

She would come only when she needed someone, then disappear afterward. I became the one who always initiated contact, while she became the one who left messages unread. It isn’t inherently wrong, but doesn’t friendship, even if it isn’t the best kind, require some balance to survive?

That’s why I chose to end the friendship, even if only one-sidedly. And it breaks my heart, because I know she never meant any harm. Life happens. And perhaps I’m no longer the friend she needs.

It’s friendship… and it’s life.

At the end of the day, I know I won’t let this experience sour my view of friendship. But allow me to sit with the sadness for a few days. I might not get closure, but I do believe that some friends are only meant for a season. And this Christmas, I’m choosing to be thankful for what it was.

If you like this post, you might also enjoy What I Learned When I Asked for Help and Holding Space for What I Can’t Control: Why I’m Done Rationalizing.