The Emotional Risk of Saying, “Hey, Old Friend”

Before joining my current company, I worked at a place where most of my peers were fellow Gen Zs. So when I eventually “graduated” from that workplace, I left not only with valuable skills, but also with a few contacts I proudly called friends.

But when life happens, life happens. I still often hang out with this one friend who quit not long before I did (we even traveled abroad together once), but I’ve slowly drifted apart from the others who are still busy working there. Most of the updates I get now come from Instagram, and believe me when I say even those are scarce.

Last week, while I was walking home from work, something tugged at me. I suddenly missed this one particular friend. We used to message each other almost every day back then, so it shocked me when I realized that our latest conversation was just a short congratulatory message for her wedding… which happened last year.

And nothing more after that.

I was torn. I wanted to take the initiative and say hi, but the fear that our connection was no longer what it used to be clung to me tightly. Would the conversation feel awkward? Would she seem distant? Would I run out of things to say because we weren’t the same friends we used to be?

Or worse—would she think I suddenly reached out because I wanted to sell her insurance or drag her into some multi-level marketing scheme?

Well, the possibilities were endless. But overthinking wasn’t going to answer my hesitation, and I didn’t want to walk away without trying.

So I gathered the courage to send her a simple message: “Hey, I suddenly thought of you. How are you doing?”

It took her a few minutes to reply.

And I won’t lie—a few slightly-too-polite lines were needed to melt the ice. But once we loosened up around each other again, we slipped right back into how we used to be. She filled me in on how life had been treating her lately. I told her how slow living used to feel like a struggle before it eventually became something comforting.

We messaged back and forth for about three hours before finally calling it a night. I went to sleep quietly happy, knowing she was still the same friend I had always remembered her to be.

So if you’re ever unsure whether or not you should reach out to an old friend, my advice is: just do it, okay? As long as you’re not messaging them with bad intentions (or just to borrow money, because honestly, that might be annoying), there’s a beautiful chance they’ll still be the same person you remember them by.

Or perhaps even better.

If you like this post, you might also enjoy When a Late Christmas Celebration Pushed Me to Do More and Big Sis Advice on Life Lessons You Didn’t Learn in School.