Turns Out, I Don’t Want to Do Nothing Forever

A few days ago, I wasn’t feeling very well. It was probably caused by the drastic change in the weather between morning, afternoon, and night (and also the fact that I had been sleeping a little later than usual). So I called in sick at work—because when a girl needs to rest, she needs to rest, right?

During my day off at home, however, I realized something quite… unsettling.

It started with the fact that I literally did nothing. Normally, when I’m sick, I spend most of the day sleeping. My eyelids usually feel heavy whenever I have a fever. But this time was different. I wasn’t sleepy at all. My body felt a little uncomfortable, but my eyes were… energized. Wasn’t that weird?

Needless to say, I played with my phone and continued binge-watching the best C-drama in the world (I’ll talk about it next week, I promise).

I had always assumed that having an unlimited amount of money would be wonderful—you could spend your days doing nothing important but everything fun! Being lazy without worrying about bills sounded like a dream. So I spent the day acting like the most carefree girlie in the world. I binge-watched episode after episode and waited for my food deliveries to arrive.

But that night, after an entire day of watching a drama—no matter how good it was—I felt… unproductive. I felt like an empty shell. I was full, but not fulfilled. I felt alive, but not entirely.

And so I asked myself, “Is this really what I want in life? Is this something I could do every single day?”

The answer was no.

No matter how tiring a job can be, having a routine has shaped me into who I am today. I may enjoy the occasional lazy day here and there, but I wouldn’t enjoy living like that every day. I may think having an unlimited amount of money would be the greatest thing ever, but deep down, without something meaningful to pursue, even comfort can start to feel empty.

Life always has a way of reminding us what’s good for us and what isn’t.

As it turned out, this unexpected day off made me realize just how much I value my job—not only because it pays the bills and allows me to buy the things I enjoy, but also because it gives me a sense of purpose and productivity.

If you like this post, you might also enjoy Choosing What to Focus on Is Choosing Peace and The Unexpected Art of Gatekeeping.