The Brain That Believes You

So, last week, I was navigating the harshness of self-criticism. I was drowning myself in thoughts of not being confident enough or clever enough… and I despised the fact that maybe I just wasn’t good enough.

As much as I hoped it was just a phase, I was aware that I couldn’t let thoughts like that consume me. It’s already a challenge to live in such a peculiar society—with the weight of social media and all these time-consuming gadgets dictating our every move—so there’s no need to add the burden of self-loathing on top of that, right?

But everything is always easier said than done. Once I jumped into the hole of self-criticism, the condemnation became endless. I knew I needed to come to a halt. Once and for all.

Looking back now, it was a little naive of me to think that I could easily change that. After a few days of resetting and reflecting, I realized that the human brain is more elastic than I’ve given it credit for. Our usual ways of thinking and behaving shape it… eloquently.

“That’s so embarrassing! I’m so not born for this type of exposure!”

“I’m really bad at this… I guess I should just stop.”

“What’s the point of trying anyway? I’m really not good enough for this.”

All those negative thoughts you believe about yourself… your brain believes them too. So I find it ironic that when I think I’m not that smart, my brain is actually smart enough to adapt to that belief very quickly and make it its newest rule of thumb.

That sucks. Thinking badly about ourselves sucks.

But the good news is, if our brain can catch our doubts and use them against our future decisions, we can train our brain to believe the good things, too. Instead of focusing on the failures we humans have to face, why not redirect that same energy toward the little accomplishments we’ve achieved along the way?

They don’t have to be that big. They can be as small as: “I can handle being wrong. I think it’s cool that I have the courage to speak,” or “I was afraid, but I did it anyway. Bravo.”

It’s what I’ve been doing these past few days. I’ve been training my brain to focus on the positive things, and I’ve realized that falling in love with being alive naturally feels a lot easier once you know where to focus.

Let this short post be a reminder that our brains are elastic. Don’t let yours get stretched and shaped by the negative things you see about yourself. Train it to believe that you’re beautiful, and that you deserve all the good things happening to you.

If you like this post, you might also enjoy Choosing What to Focus on Is Choosing Peace and The Unexpected Art of Gatekeeping.