The Hidden Weight of Financial Guilt (Which I’m Letting Go)

As someone who hasn’t received financial support since the fifth semester of college, I’ve worked hard over the past few years to financially support both my parents and myself. For that, I’m very grateful that (a) I have a sister with whom I share our parents’ household expenses, and (b) my hard work is paying off in some ways.

However, with my parents' expenses (their cost of living and my mom’s health insurance) and my own (rent, transport, food, and personal health insurance, to name a few), it’s hard to save much each month—and sometimes I feel guilty about that, even though I know this struggle is complex and deeply personal.

Before I share more, I want to acknowledge upfront that financial challenges vary widely, and many face far more difficult circumstances. Economic inequality, systemic barriers, and crises make it hard for them to get by, let alone save. I don't mean to belittle anyone's struggle, but rather to share a glimpse of my own emotional complexity. I hope this comes across as honest, not out of touch.

Feeling guilty about overspending is not a new concept—it’s something we, as new adults, need to learn to grapple with at some point, especially for those of us with dependents. In an attempt to develop a healthier financial mindset, here are some practices I’m learning to adopt:

Count my blessings. I stumbled across a good reminder last year, and while I can’t remember the original source, the heart of the message has stayed with me. It basically said that if our efforts aren’t fairly compensated financially, we can trust that we’ll be rewarded in other meaningful ways, such as good health, supportive surroundings, and more.

When I get all worked up and start to feel the guilt coming, I remind myself to be grateful for everything God has provided—a healthy family, a roof over my head, never going hungry due to lack of food, good support systems, and many other blessings. God has taken care of me throughout my whole life, and I believe He always will.

Don’t let a financial tracker dictate your life. I’m that person who has a neat and detailed financial record, from a daily tracker on my phone to annual cash flow reports. While it helps me track my spending, it can feel like a ghost haunting me.

It really shouldn’t be like this, but sometimes, I feel like the tracker mocks me when I’ve gone over my monthly budget. Life happens. It’s natural to spend more now and then.

Remember to enjoy life. While I feel some guilt, I also have my share of carelessness—and a little bit of that is important! I know I don’t regret spoiling myself sometimes, because even if there are bills to pay, there is also life to enjoy. As long as we’re aware of our limits, let’s not be too hard on ourselves. Money is just a tool—it shouldn’t cost us our peace of mind. We deserve to celebrate us, too.