The Unexpected Art of Gatekeeping

I’ve always considered myself someone who likes to share. As some of you might already know, I have another blog where I write about my travel experiences and emotions. Here, however, I tend to post about things that excite me, such as good food, good movies, and other little joys.

In line with how I write around here, my online persona isn’t that different from who I am in real life (perhaps a little more introverted if I haven’t gotten to know someone yet, but you get my point). I like to talk when I’m comfortable. And I especially enjoy discussing exciting things with the people around me…

Until I learned the art of gatekeeping.

I used to think gatekeeping was a form of exclusivity. It felt like a softer version of “you can’t sit with us” from Mean Girls—only without saying it outright. At some point, I even thought the phrase “hot girls don’t gatekeep” was pretty cool because, well, why should I gatekeep? Especially when something is exciting. Everyone should know about it. They should probably try it too.

But now I’ve changed my mind. Gatekeeping definitely exists for a reason. I’ve learned that sometimes you need to gatekeep certain things to protect your peace. Attention can attract negativity, and when it does, it has a way of ruining the entire experience.

Need proof? Let me tell you mine.

Earlier this year, I announced something exciting: I joined TikTok and planned to become a content creator there. I promised myself I would post at least one piece of content every day, hoping the algorithm would be kind to me.

A month later, while my enthusiasm for content creation was still going strong, a few acquaintances brought up TikTok in conversation. The blabbermouth in me excitedly told them that I had an account there. Not long after that conversation, they decided to join too.

And not long after that, I stopped posting regularly.

Eventually, I stopped altogether.

There are plenty of campaigns promoting positivity, but in my opinion, people don’t talk enough about navigating negativity. An idealistic part of me started feeling uncomfortable continuing to post when everything around me began to feel performative, saturated with competition, and shaped more by AI than by human touch.

I don’t have anything against AI, by the way. Heck, I play games with it when I’m bored. ChatGPT helps me spot grammatical errors in my writing all the time. But because I appreciate originality and human expression in personal content, seeing AI take over more than just the editing process bothers me more than it probably should.

So I stopped.

I don’t think I’ll be posting on TikTok anytime soon, but let’s never say never. In the meantime, I’ll channel my energy into living a quieter life and writing for my blogs.

Maybe it’s the trauma talking, but I’m gatekeeping this one. I’m not about to let negativity take away something that means so much to me.

If you like this post, you might also enjoy On Negative, Control, and Letting Go and On Valuing What I Create.