The Distance Between 汤 and 甜

When I put my mind to something, I usually follow through, no matter how hard it gets.

It’s one of my strengths as an Aquarius, I guess—and one that can also be considered a weakness. Because while I can be incredibly strong-willed and willing to go the extra mile to achieve what I want, I can also put on blinders so nothing distracts me from my goal.

Again, it’s both a good and a bad thing—it shows how persistent I can be, but it also highlights how easily I can neglect other things.

For instance, I’m currently in my learning Mandarin era. While it’s a wonderful goal to pursue, I can’t deny that I’ve been neglecting other equally important areas of my life. Like this blog, for example. I know I haven’t been the best blogger lately. I’ve been so, so, so focused on learning a new language that I’ve barely used my mind to write anything.

But if learning a new language has taught me anything, it’s this newfound appreciation blooming in my heart for English.

For years, I always thought my English was just… fine. English isn’t my mother tongue, as you guys probably already know. But years of blogging have honed my proficiency into something I would call… amateur craftsmanship. I can write artistic prose. I can knit beautiful sentences together. But that’s about it. My speaking ability—particularly my accent—is nowhere near native-like.

It was only after I started learning Mandarin that I realized just how much I had downplayed my English ability. Having to translate each word before being able to form a full sentence in Mandarin made me think, “Wowza, how did I ever think my English wasn’t that good? I can think in English without actually thinking.”

I’m still not exactly native-like though. In a room full of British and American people, you would obviously still be able to tell I’m different… apart from my Asian face. But now I realize my English is much better than I ever gave myself credit for, accent or no accent.

I also realized just how comfortable I feel speaking English with native speakers… something I definitely don’t feel with the new language I’m currently learning. During my trip to Penang last month, I was suddenly hit by stage-fright-level anxiety when I was about to order takeaway in Mandarin. I was terrified they wouldn’t understand me—or worse, that I would say something completely wrong.

I know, I know. Making mistakes isn’t the end of the world. But it definitely feels like it when you’re shy, learning a new language, and accidentally say something entirely different.

It happened to me when I was about to order takeaway wonton noodles from a random food stall. And I still feel like cursing myself every time I remember that embarrassing moment.

So there I was, standing in front of the menu board with my sister. We noticed there were two types of wonton noodles: soup and dry. In my mind, I proudly recalled something I had recently learned: soup is 汤 (tāng).

My sister asked me to tell the seller if they could make the noodles less sweet. Of course, I grabbed the opportunity to speak to a native speaker. Fear or no fear, I still had a goal to reach.

In Mandarin, sweet is 甜 (tián). I knew that. But instead of saying, “可以不太甜吗?” (“Could it be not too sweet?”), I confidently said, “可以不太汤吗?” (“Could it be not too soup?”) because my brain was still clinging to the fact that soup is 汤 (tāng).

I didn’t realize my mistake at first.

The seller, however, looked utterly confused. “不太汤?” (“Not too soup?”)

“是.” (“Yes.”)

I had absolutely no idea why she looked so confused.

She tried to confirm it a few times. Then, when she finally realized what I meant, she said, “Oh… 不太甜.” (“Not too sweet.”)

And then she turned to her friend and started talking about me in Hokkien.

Frankly, I didn’t understand a single word—I can’t speak Hokkien—but even without subtitles, I knew she was talking about me. Her gestures said it all.

Well.

At the end of the day, though, a mistake is just a mistake. I won’t get better at Mandarin if I don’t seize every opportunity to practice. It was only a 汤 and a 甜, after all.

When I finally go to China one day, I’m pretty sure I'll make much more advanced mistakes than that. (At least, that's the plan. Hopefully by then, I've graduated from the 汤-and-甜 stage of my Mandarin journey.) But I also believe I’ll have much more fun.

Let’s manifest!

If you like this post, you might also enjoy Turns Out I Don’t Want to Do Nothing Forever and Confessions of a Professional Hyperfixator.